Where Do I File a Complaint?

I would like to go on record that I do NOT like mama's job. Ever since I was little she stayed home with me and played with me and gave me all the attention I wanted, when I wanted it.

Now she gives me a couple hugs in the morning then leaves ALL DAY. She does take me for walks after work, but it's just not the same. I need quality time chasing my fox and my monkey and my squeaky sock.

Plus it's hard for me to turn on the glowy box without her. I hope you guys don't mind that I haven't been posting as much.

A Quirk?

On my post about things I've done 100 times Nadine said she thought it was funny (or something... really do you expect me to go back and read that? I've got bones to chew...) that I sometimes eat from the right side of the dish.

Not sometimes. Always.


I thought it was silly to take a picture. I mean, who wants to see my half-eaten meal?

My EYES!

I got a haircut earlier this week (the same day as class -- I don't know what mama was thinking) and these people don't know WHAT they're doing. Not only did they rip all the hair out of my ears, but they CUT OFF MY EYEBROWS!


I'm a Schnauzer. I'm supposed to have long dangly eyebrows that threaten to steal your cupcake when you aren't looking. How am I supposed to be sneaky now?

*sits*

I can't talk right now. I'm practicing something called "heeling."

Why didn't anyone tell me this has NOTHING to do with chewing on shoes? I thought I'd finally get my own pair to shred but noooooooo, I have to sit when told and look forward, then walk when told.

Hrrumph.

Things I've Done 100 Times

Jumped on mama
Licked mama
Bit mama
Run away from mama
Leaped from one piece of furniture to another
Leaped from the couch to a person
Leaped from person to person


Jumped on mamama
Licked mamama
Bit mamama
Barked for treats
Howled for treats
Howled for a walk
Howled for attention
Howled for someone to turn on the light 'cuz it's scary in the dark
Sat in mama's lap
Slept in mama's lap
Dropped a toy in mama's lap
Jumped on grampa
Licked grampa
Bit grampa
Begged for a banana
Begged for a Special K flake
Gone CRAZY for a piece of chicken
Only eaten from the right side of my food dish
Lost an ice cube under the fridge


Stolen a sock
Brought the sock outside
Got the sock all dirty
Brought the dirty sock back inside
Ran around with the dirty sock
Gone back for a fresh sock
Squeaked my toys
Squeaked my toys
Squeaked my toys
Chased leaves
Chased blades of grass
Chased birds
Remained oblivious to deer, rabbits and squirrels
Looked cute and adorable


And finally...

Posted on my blog!! That's right, this is post #100!

What have you done 100 times?

This Obedience School Thing Isn't So Bad

My first obedience school class was last night. I was nervous about it and didn't really know what to expect, but then mama left without me!

I was sure that all this talk about me learning to stop jumping and biting and sitting when I'm supposed to (I do sit most of the time, I just don't stay there very long) made me think that I'd be going to the classes, but maaaaaaybe this class is really for people.

I knew there was nothing wrong with me. It's all her!

I'm Not Strange, I'm Relaxed

There's a rumor going around that I'm weird. Or strange. Or something. I even got an award for it from Haggis, that cool Chihuahua who tries to help me out. (My mama got a couple awards too so it's not just me.)


There's a bunch of rules that go with this award, but my thumbs don't work the same as most bloggers so I'm just gonna steal what Haggis has:

The 'Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits' award is given to only the strangest of folk, and as the recipient of such you are deemed very strange indeed. Congratulations.

Now you must go forth and celebrate the strangeness of friends (and strangers - strangers are always allowed) by nominating blogs run by strange folk. *Beware, some people don't like you to refer to them as strange... Try to avoid them if possible.

I'm not gonna nominate anyone because I think everyone who follows my blog is, by default, kinda weird, but if you want to see where this started, there's this last bit:

And, if you email catephoenix(at)gmail(dot)com and tell her you've received the award for your strangeness, she'll enter you in the biggest kick-ass Strange Men competition ever. Details over at strangemeninpinstripesuits.com (click on the award link on the home page)

Really I'm just super happy that I'm the only dog running the show here -- the crazy dog left yesterday!

This is As Close to Facing Downward as I Get

I Am Not Pleased